The Akatsuki Dating Game!
by Pandasmoosh
Summary: The new girl arrives, and the guys LOVE her. So she comes up with a plan to choose the right one. AkatsukixOC R&R please? [Final chapter now up!]
1. She's mine!

**Bwhaha. Writing this story made me laugh. :D**

**Also, this is either before or after the blue haired one was in the Akatsuki. I'm not sure whether she's a girl, or she justs likes dressing like one, but whatever. ;)**

**Note- I don't own Naruto. If I did, things would be very different -cackle- D**

**-----------x**

_Riiing. Riiiing. _

Tsuki looked over at her clock.

8:30 A.M. "Damn. Why does this organization make get up so god damn early?"

Tsuki had been in the Akatsuki for about two months now, but was still trying to get used to the swing of things.

Tsuki sat up, looking around her room. Her walls were a deep wine red, and bare. She hadn't exactly planned to bring anything along. Just a few items of interest...She grabbed her hairbrush, gently brushing it through her silky purple hair. _Hmm. I wonder when Leader will assign me a partner._ Tsuki had been introduced to the members the day she had got here. Most of them had taken a liking to her, probably because she was a _girl._ All of the other members were men, even though a certain blonde looked like a girl. But he had assured he that he wasn't. Still, one can never be too sure...

She stood up, stretching. "Hmm. Maybe I should go and get something to eat. But then again, I might run into someone." She thought this over, but couldn't ignore the grumbling of her stomach. She walked over to the door, slowly turning the knob. She peeked out into the hallway, making sure no one was around. _Good. The coast is clear._ She slowly walked into the kitchen, grabbing a cup of instant ramen from the cupboard. After putting in the microwave, she leaned against the cabinets, inspecting her newly painted fingernails. "God. This color is so...boring. Can't they make the color brighter? Green would be cool," She muttered to herself. "I hear yah, un. Black is so drab, un." Tsuki whipped around to see a blonde haired boy standing in the doorway. She gave him a smile. "Good morning, Deidara-san." He smiled back. "Good morning, un." He let himself into the kitchen, grabbing another cup of ramen.

"Sooo, how do you like the Akatsuki so far, un?"

"It's cool, I suppose."

Deidara smirked. "Nooo. I meant the people in it, un."

She hesitated. "Well now, I haven't exactly gotten to meet everyone yet."

He laughed. "We were talking about you, un. And we all agree: you're pretty hot, un."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, un. That's why I came to find you, un." He smirked again. "Wanna go on a date with me?"

Just as Tsuki was about to answer, there was a crash, and the rest of the Akatsuki came tumbling in through the door. They had obviously been eavesdropping.

Hidan stood up, brushing imaginary dust off of himself. "So Deidara, trying to steal her before the rest of us, eh?"

Deidara gave him a mischevious smile. "Yup, un. Like she'd want to go out with any of _you._" He made a gesture at them all.

The rest of them stood up, angered by his statement. "What the hell Deidara. She'd never go out with an idiot like you!"

"Exactly! Which is why she should go out with me!"

"No! She should come out with me! Besides, I'm so much cooler than the rest of you!"

Tsuki just stood there, looking dumbfounded. "Umm, guys?"

No response. They all just kept arguing over her, like she was some kind of trophy.

"You guys. Stop."

Again, no response. They all kept arguing, getting louder and louder.

"YOU GUYS. SHUT THE HELL UP." Tsuki was fuming now, and that made them stop fighting.

"Nice job at pissing her off, Deidara."

"What?! How the hell was this my-"

Tsuki interupted him. "If you guys want me so bad, then why don't we make this a game."

They all looked at her, now with a curious look in their eyes. She continued. "Yes! Like a dating game. I'll let you all...take me on dates! Each one of you gets a day with me, from 12:00 pm to 6:00 pm. You can do whatever you want. But, I refuse to go in your rooms. That's the only real rule." She smirked at them. "You guys up for the challenge?" For once, the men in the Akatsuki agreed. "Yes!"

"Now, who's going to be first?"


	2. Eyeglasses?

**Wow. I wasn't expecting so many reviews for the first chapter! Thanks you guys:D**

**By the way, megumi-sachou wanted to know who was saying those random lines. It was basically just all the members. Kisame could have been saying one, Itachi the other, yadda yadda. x3**

**Note- Unfortunately, I don't own Naruto. If I did, then..well... 8D**

--------x

After many hours of bickering and arguing, the order of the dates was in place. How did they all manage to do this? They drew straws.

First up would be Itachi.

Followed by Sasori.

Followed by Kakuzu.

Followed by Hidan.

Followed by Kisame.

Followed by Zetsu.

And finally...Deidara. To say the least, Deidara wasn't happy.

"Why am I last, unnn?" He sat pouting on the couch.

"Because you picked the shortest straw, idiot." Hidan piped up.

They were all sitting in the living room, waiting for Tsuki to come out of her room, ready to go with Itachi. Itachi was sprawled out on the couch, looking uninterested as ever. But on the inside, his heart was pounding. He had chosen to take Tsuki to the...eyeglasses store. He needed help choosing a pair, as his eyesight was starting to become worse. Sure, it wasn't the best date ever, but Itachi knew once she looked into his crimson Sharingan eyes and put her fingers through his raven black hair, she would choose him.

Kisame looked over at his partner. "Hey Itachi, nervous?" He flashed him a sharp toothed grin.

"Of course...not. What's there to be nervous about?" _I need a new coat of nail polish_, he thought to himself.

Everyone was glancing at the clock. 11:59. One more minute, and she would come out of her room...

------x

After what seemed like hours of waiting, they heard a doorknob turn, and out walked Tsuki. She had told Itachi not to dress in his Akatsuki outfit, so they wouldn't attract attention. But boy, Tsuki would sure turn some heads! She was wearing a white, flouncy skirt and a pale pink halter top. Her purple hair was tight in a bun, and she had the smallest dab of lip gloss on her lips. She smiled at them all, and waved. "Ready, Itachi-san?"

Itachi's eyes widened for a minute, then quickly darted down to his jeans and t-shirt. "R-ready."

"All right guys. We'll be back at exactly six 'o clock. Try not to kill each other, okay?" She couldn't help but stare at Deidara and Hidan as she said it.

With that, they walked out of the lair, and prepared to go eyeglass shopping.

-------x

"So, Itachi-san, where are we going?" Tsuki looked up at him, her violet eyes looking up at him with excitement.

"Well, erm, this is going to sound kinda...stupid, but, well, I need new glasses, so..."

Tsuki gasped. "Realllly? Oh my god, you would look so good in black, maybe a red frame...or maybe a green frame...it would bring out your facial features quite nicely."

Itachi smiled. _So far, so good._ "Oh look, here's the shop. Why don't we go inside?" He held the door open, and they waltzed inside.

**Meanwhile, at the Akatsuki lair...**

"Hidan, stop hogging all the damn popcorn, un!" The other men were all huddled around the small TV set, watching a movie, trying to get their minds of the date. The movie wasn't that interesting though.

"So, how do you think the date is going?" Kakuzu asked, almost dreamily.

"I'm sure Itachi's boring her half to death. He's sooo not her type, un." Deidara said in a fake valley girl voice.

Hidan looked up, annoyed. "Oh yeah? Well, Deidara, what is her type?"

..."Me! Un!" He fell over laughing. The other members looked away. "Asshole..."

------x

The door opened, and in walked Tsuki and Itachi. "Oooh, Itachi, you look sooo good in those glasses! Green was definately our best bet!"

He couldn't help but agree. "Yes, they do look quite good on me, don't they?" He smirked. _The others will never let me live this down..._

Tsuki suddenly embraced him. "Well, I had a good time today Itachi. But, I have to go get ready for tomorrow. Sasori's turn!" She walked down the hall, and into her room.

"Good...night." 


	3. Danna, I have a question

**This chapter, by far, is my favorite. XD**

**For now, the rest of the "date" chapters will be somewhat like Itachi's. So if that bores you can just skim them over. D**

**Bthe way, I realize that Tsuki is somewhat of a Mary Sue. I'm trying to work on her some, to make her less of one. I'm bad at making up characters. x3**

**I don't own Naruto blah blah blah. **

--------x

Deidara sulked. It was his danna's date today. Everyone loved Sasori, so he figured that Tsuki would fall for him. He couldn't see why. Sasori was a puppet. A puppet!

He walked into his and Sasori's room, and found Sasori sitting on his bed, staring at the wall. "Hey Sasori-danna, whatcha doing, un?"

Sasori looked up. "Thinking."

"Oh. Hey, danna, I have a question, un."

Sasori looked over, a little curious. "What?"

Deidara knew he'd get his ass kicked, so he backed up to the door somewhat. "Well, since you're a puppet, and you can't feel anything...how are you gonna show people a good time in bed, un?"

Sasori looked at him for a moment. He then twitched, and stood up. He took Deidara by the ponytail, and threw him out of the room, letting him land with a thud on the ground. "Idiot." With that, he walked back and gently closed the door, preparing for his date. "Hmm. Perhaps if I dress a little fancier than Itachi...I might have more of a chance. She seemed really happy last night..." After hours of sifting through his closet, he sat down with a sigh. "Ugh. I feel like such...a girl." Now he was starting to get worried._ If I can't find any clothes...oh god. I have to find something._

-------x

**Knock knock.**

Sasori looked up, noticing the knocking. He looked at the clock next to him. "Crap. It's 12:00! I know who that must be..." He shyly opened the door, coming face to face with Tsuki. If he could blush, his face would a flurry of red and pink. "S-sorry I'm late Tsuki. I was trying to find something to wear.." She smiled. "It's okay Sasori! So, what do you have planned?" He smiled. He had planned the perfect date. "Well, first I thought we could go on a walk in the park, and then, at night, they have puppet shows...we can watch one of those." She laughed. "Sounds like fun! Shall we head out?" Once again, a smile slowly creeped it's way up his face. He held out his arm, so Tsuki could link with him. "Let's!" As they were walking out, Deidara passed them.

"So danna, when you gonna get her in be-"

He got a sock in the stomach for that.

-------x

"Whaddya guys wanna do today?" Everyone except Sasori was lazily sprawled out on the furniture, and Deidara was sitting one the floor. He was making multiple clay birds and other animals, then smashing them, then making them again. Itachi inspected his new glasses, and smiled. "Oh hey, Itachi, what's with the new glasses?" His partner Kisame asked.

"Tsuki picked them out for me yesterday...on our date."

There was suddenly a fit of laughter from Hidan. "You took her to an eyeglass store? Ha...ha." He was holding his sides, cracking up.

"One more word out of you, and you'll be laughing for the next 72 hours."

The Akatsuki lair was suddenly very quiet.

**Later that night...**

Deidara was seated on his bed, reading a book on great artists, when he heard the doorknob turn, and in walked Sasori.

"So danna, how was it, un?"

He had a dreamy look in his eyes, and he seemed quite happy. "It was...fun."

"Oooh, danna, get any action, un???"

His dreamy expression suddenly turned cold, and he glared at Deidara. "No."

Deidara quickly looked away, because he knew that Sasori would turn him into a puppet if he said one more word. "Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Sasori-danna, un."

Sasori mumbled a goodnight, turning off the light in their bedroom.


	4. Money is Love!

**Thank you guys so much for all the reviews. I really wasn't expecting this story to get this much attention. . **

**Sorry I haven't updated! I had writer's block. D:**

**I don't own Naruto. 'Nuff said. :D**

**(By the way, I got the 'money mill' off of a money printing place in Boston, if you're wondering ;3)**

------x

" Hum hum la la, money, money, money..." Kakuzu hummed as he pranced around the room. Hidan, who had just come back from one of his rituals, gave him an annoyed glance.

"What the hell are you so damn happy about?"

"This date. It will definately be the best one yet."

Hidan smirked. "Oh yeah? Well, what are you planning to do?"

Kakuzu sighed happily, and then turned to face him. "We're taking a tour of the money mill! We get to see all that beautiful money being made! And then, they have the first dollar bill to ever be made..."

"Sounds like you're more interested in the date than the _girl_ you're taking."

Kakuzu turned around facing Hidan. "Why? Because I _love_ money?"

"Yup."

Kakuzu smirked. "Well, you can take all that bullcrap and shove it up your ass. I have a date to make." He walked out of the room and down the hall, leaving Hidan still staring blankly at him.

-------x

He met up with Tsuki in the hall, and Kakuzu told her where they would be headed.

"Oooh, a money mill, eh? Sounds like we'll get a history lesson!" She clapped her hands, and they left, Kakuzu smiling under the cloth that covered his mouth.

--------x

"Sempaiiii! Sempaiiii!" Tobi rang out as he pounded on Deidara and Sasori's door.

The door opened a crack, revealing a blue eye. "What, un?"

"Wanna play a game with me, Sempai? It's funnn!"

"Not now, un. I'm working."

"On what?"

Deidara smirked. "New explosives. Keep annoying me, and you'll be my latest test subjet, un."

"Aww, Sempai, you're so mean!" Tobi pouted and walked down the hall, calling to Zetsu.

Deidara groaned. "What an annoying brat..."

--------x

Six 'o clock finally rolled around, and the two came home, Kakuzu's arms full of money, and other merchandise from the mill.

"That was fun, Kakuzu! I didn't know money had such a bright history. Well, good night."

Kakuzu smiled, and continued hugging his money. "Night..."


	5. No hair gel!

**Sorry for the super long time between chapters. My life got a little chaotic. Plus writer's block. Not funnn. D:**

**I. do. not. own. Naruto.**

**------x**

"Oh fuck! Oh lord Jashin, why? Why in all the hells?" Hidan whined from the bathroom.

Kakuzu looked up from his book, "How to be a Millionaire by Age 40."

"What are you bitching about now?"

Hidan's silver head popped out, his hair a mess. "I ran out of fucking hair gel! God dammit..."

Kakuzu smirked. He always loved watching his partner suffer, the religious bastard.

"Why don't you just smooth it down with water?" _If only he could do that everyday...it would save so much more money..._

Hidan wrinkled his nose. "Augh, that looks so god damn cheap though!" _Although..I suppose it's really the only choice I have...dammit._

He went back into the bathroom, and Kakuzu heard the water running. A few minutes later, Hidan walked out, grumbling.

"Asshole, there's no difference between the water and the damn hair gel!"

Hidan sat down on his bed, sneering. "Of course there is! Hair gel costs more _money_ than water!"

"Oh, you bastard..."

He got up, laughing, and walked down the hall to meet Tsuki. They bumped into each other in the hallway, each going to the other's room.

"Oh, hey Hidan! Ready to go?"

He smirked. "Go? What do you mean? We're staying right here."

Tsuki cocked her head. "Huh?"

Hidan stared at her. "You get to watch me perform Jashin's ritual of course!" At the sound of Jashin, Hidan's eyes gleamed deviously.

Tsuki grew wide eyed. "O-oh. Sounds...interesting...well, um, let's...go?"

He led her into his ritual room, tightly closing the door behind him.

-------x

"Haha. Tsuki must be dying, un. Hidan's rituals aren't fun, un." He had memories of the time Hidan had made him watch one of the rituals. He shuddered. Not something he wanted to go through agin.

"Hey, she made it into the Akatsuki, so she must be able to handle stuff like that," Itachi said, flipping through a magazine.

"Itachi-san, not even you could handle one of those rituals, un." That was definately an understatement. Itachi would die if he saw that ritual...

----------x

**Six hours later...**

The door clicked open, and out came Hidan, followed by a very wide eyed Tsuki. They were both splattered with blood, and Hidan even had a few puncture wounds on him. "Oh...my...god," was all Tsuki could manage to choke out.

Hidan smirked. _She must have loveddd it!_

"Well, Hidan, I'm going...back to my...room. See you...later..." She stumbled back to her room. _Damn, I need a shower... _

She concluded that she was never convertinng to Hidan's religion, no matter how many times he pestered her to.


	6. Polly the Dolphin

**Gah. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. xD**

**But here it is. Three more chapters 'till we find the lucky man! D**

**I don't own Naruto D:**

------x

Kisame sat on his bed, playing with his pet fish, but he couldn't help like he was forgetting something.

"Hn...I'm supposed to go somewhere today..."

He looked up at the ceiling, hoping for it to give him the answer he needed.

"Oh yeah...I got a date with that chick today..."

Real human girls had never really interested Kisame. He was into...sea creatures. Which was why they were going to the aquarium.

You see, Kisame had developed a crush on one of the dolphins there. Her name was Polly, and Kisame knew it was love at first sight. He sighed. "Well, at least I get to see Polly. Even if I'm stuck with that chick..."

A few minutes later, Tsuki greeted him. "Hey there Kisame!"

He looked over. "Oh, hey...T-ts..." He tried to remember her name. "Tsuki! Right, Tsuki. Okay, well, uh, let's...go...?"

-------x

All the men huddled around the living room, trying to relieve their boredom.

"Hey...if Tsuki and Kisame had kids, whaddya think they'd look like, un?" Deidara was sitting on the floor, trying to perfect his latest piece of art.

Hidan scoffed. "They'd be a buch of ugly little bastards, that's for damn sure. They'd be much cuter if they were mine."

Deidara smirked. "Whatever you say, Hidan, whatever you say, un..."

-------x

**A little later...**

Tsuki and Kisame walked through the door, Tsuki holding a giant whale plushie.

"Well Kisame, you almost got us arrested, but other than that, I had a good time."

"Hey. Just because I tried to break Polly out doesn't mean we would have gotten arrested!"

Tsuki sighed. "Whatever...night Kisame."

Kisame just stood there, mumbling to himself. "Don't worry Polly...one day, I will break you out of there."


	7. Yay for Zetsusan!

**Okay, I know I haven't updated this story in like, FOREVER. Sorry about that ..**

**But anyway, here we go. Two more chapters till we find outtt (:**

**----x**

"Wow Zetsu-san! You really do have a green thumb!" Tobi exclaimed as he watched the plant man work in his greenhouse. Zetsu had set up the greenhouse himself, since the rest of the members didn't take to other man eating plants. As far as they were concerned, one was more than enough.

**"What the hell do you expect? I **_**am**_** techincally a plant."** The black side of Zetsu tended to be a little more...roudier..than Zetsu's white side. "Hn. Wonder what time it is...I have to take Tsuki out today..."

Tobi looked at him. "Zetsu-san, you were finally able to get a date? Yay for Zetsu-san!" For a little while, Tobi ran around the greenhouse chanting for Zetsu. "Tobi...calm down..." **"Tobi, shut the hell up and get your ass back here."** Hearing Zetsu's black side, Tobi walked back towards him, smirking under his orange mask. "Sooo Zetsu-san, where are you taking herrr?"

"Where do you think a giant plant man would take someone?" Tobi thought for a moment. "The movies! That way...no one can see the flytrap! Tobi's a good boy, right Zetsu-san?!"

Zetsu sighed, shaking his head. "Tobi, you're a good boy, but no. Not the movies. I'm taking her to the botanical gardens..." Zetsu had always enjoyed the gardens, since no one could tell that he could just as easily be part of it. "I knew that Zetsu-san! I was just...uh...testing you! Right! Testing you!" 

After watering the rest of his plants, Zetsu stood up, exiting the greenhouse, Tobi at his heels. **"Tobi, don't you have anyone else you can go and bother?"** Tobi nodded. "Maybe Sasori-san will let me play with his puppets! See you later, Zetsu-san!" Zetsu sighed. "Don't get your hopes up." He walked inside the main building, where he saw Tsuki standing in the hallway. "Oh. You. Sorry, was I late?"

Tsuki turned around, smiling. "No. I just like to come a bit early. So are you ready to go?" He nodded. "I think you might like where we're going. The...botanical gardens...?"

"Oh, perfect! I love flowers."

**-----x**

"Do you think he ate her yet?" Kisame and Itachi were in the kitchen, looking for something to eat.

"For her sake, I hope not," Itachi blandly stated as he fished through the cupboards. _Kakuzu needs to go shopping..._

"Yeah. Cuz then we won't have any more chicks lying around the house." Sure, Kisame wasn't really into humans, but that's not to say that he didn't _like _them.

"Hm. Not exactly how I would've said it...but whatever." Itachi picked up a cup of instant ramen, setting it in the microwave.

**-----x**

The door opened, and in walked a giant plant, followed by Tsuki. Deidara was sitting on the couch, and watched them come in.

"Oh, Zetsu, you didn't eat her, un? Wow." Deidara smirked. Intimidating people was fun. To his dismay, Tsuki spoke up. "No, he didn't. Actually, I had quite a good time. Zetsu is one of my _favorites._" She smirked back at him. Intimidating blonde, cocky, assholes was fun.

"Well, I'm tomorrow, un. We'll see who the favorite turns out to be, un." Tsuki waved him off. "Whatever Deidara." She turned back to Zetsu. "Goodnight Zetsu. Today was very fun."

_But tomorrow, lord only knows what Deidara will have us doing..._

**-----x**

**Sorry for the shortness. Next chapter will be longer. I promise. I swear my life on it xD**


	8. The Womanly Blonde

**Thank you guys so much for 40+ reviews! I love you all. Even you flamers :D**

**Chapter eight. Fweee 83**

**I don't own anything. Except Tsuki. She's mine.**

**-----x**

Deidara was like a child on Christmas morning. He pranced to breakfast, pranced back to his room, even pranced into the bathroom. Why? Because he got his date today. It wasn't exactly that he wanted her to pick him. Then he would feel like a dog on a leash. He just wanted to prove to the rest of the Akatsuki that he could become a favorite of a girl.

Sasori sat at his work bench, fixing a nick in Hiruko's tail when he heard the bedroom door open and humming. _Deidara's here..._"What are you so happy about?"

Deidara turned around. "Hehe. Today's my date. She'll forget all about you guys when I take her on my date, un." Sasori raised his eyebrows. "Oh? And where would that be, Deidara?"

The blonde ninja smirked. "Like I'd tell you, Sasori-danna. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and get ready." He walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him.

Sasori sat there, puzzled for a minute. "Where could he be going? It'll probably have something to do with clay...or explosions...or both..." He shrugged, turning back to Hiruko. Nothing would ever beat the puppet show in the park he took Tsuki to, as far as he was concerned. _Although, she did seem pretty happy coming back from Itachi's date...how that Uchiha does it, I'll never know._

After what seemed like hours, Deidara finally came out of the bathroom...looking the same as ever. "Deidara, you don't look any different." Deidara giggled. "Sasori-danna, you don't know how much I went through in there, un! I'm sure Tsuki will notice. She's high maitnence, just like me, un!" He pouted. Sasori would never even be able to comprehend how a beauty queen got ready every morning.

"Well, I'm going to win my girl over Danna. Bye, un." He waved, and strode off down the hall and into the main living room. _I wonder where she is, un..._He stood there for a few minutes, before hearing footsteps coming from down the hall.

"Oh, Deidara. You're already here. Sorry I'm a little late. So, what do you have planned for us?" She smiled at him. _God, he looks like a girl...people are gonna think we're gay or something..._Deidara stared at her a minute. "Guess, un." He enjoyed toying with her, and making her irritated. Then again, he liked irritating anyone. "Umm. Something to do with clay..." Deidara nodded. "Hmm. Hn." She shrugged. "I give up." Deidara smirked. _I win, un._ "We're only going to the most fun place in the world, un! Plaster Fun Time! We can paint clay, un! Then explode it!" He threw his hands up in the air, before making a 'boom' sound.

Tsuki sweatdropped. _Haven't been there in years._ "Sounds interesting. Shall we be off?" Before Deidara could respond, Tsuki was halfway out the door. _Ugh. She seems stubborn and loud. Just like me, un...great._

**-----x**

The entire Akatsuki hideout was on edge. Where had Deidara taken Tsuki? He hadn't told anyone. "That bastard..." Hidan mumbled to himself.

"Relax Hidan. Deidara couldn't have taken her anywhere too fancy. He doesn't have that long of an attention span..." Itachi wasn't that worried. He could easily out-sexyfie Deidara anyday. Well, according to all the Itachi fangirls of America.

Sasori nodded. "Besides, Tsuki can't stand him anyway. Says his ego is too big, and he's an asshole. I have to agree with her." Sasori felt a high school girl, gossiping like this. _I need a life..._

"Not to mention he acts like a total girl!" The rest of the members nodded. Deidara did have some 'womanly' qualities to him. "If he was a girl, I might just wanna bang the hell out of that." Hidan looked around, seeing the stunned looks on the other members faces. "Oh come on! I've bet you've all thought about it before! So shut the fuck up!" He sat down, arms crossed, a pout on his face.

"Actually, he _is_ pretty good in bed."

"WHAT?!"

**-----x**

"Deidara, you're an idiot." Tsuki stated as they walked in. "Oh yeah? How, un?" Deidara seemed pretty pissed off too.

"Well, let's see. You blew up Plaster Fun Time. You know how many little children's dream were just crushed? You almost got us caught by ANBU because of your little explosion frenzy. And then, you purposely crashed your own god damn bird." She folded her arms, and glared at Deidara. He just shrugged. "You know you had fun, un." She sighed. "Like I said, you're an _idiot._" Without even saying goodnight, she walked to her room, opening the door. Deidara stood there, smirking. "She loves me, un."

**-----x**

**XDDD**

**I love my mind.**

**So, who will Tsuki chooooose? Itachi, Sasori, Kakuzu, Hidan, Kisame, Zetsu, or Deidara? You'll just have to wait. ;D**

**Not long though. Don't worry. x3**


	9. The Decision

**Last chapter D:**

**God, this was so fun to write. And all my reviewers, you guys are all friggen amazing. :D**

**I think you'll all find the ending amusing, in your way. xD**

**Warning: Lots of OOC-ness in this chapter. :)**

**DO. NOT. OWN. **

**-----x**

The week was up. Each member had gotten their date. Now it was just time for the decision.

"Itachi is super sexy...but so is Sasori...gah." Tsuki sat on her bed, reviewing each date in her head. They had all gone well, except for a few mishaps. She hadn't thought about it until now, and was now a little scatterbrained. Tsuki was trying to pick someone based on their personality, but it was pretty hard. All of them were hot in their own way. Even if they were man-plants, sharks, were puppets, or ate peoples' hearts.

"Definately not Hidan...he'd make perfrom rituals _with_ him, not just watch him...and Deidara and I are just too much alike...Itachi doesn't seem like the party type...Kisame's in love with a dolphin..." She sighed. This was harder than she had thought. If she picked one of them, then the rest were subject to hate her..."Maybe I should just tell them I love them all too much to decide? Nah. They wouldn't believe that bullshit."

She sat, comtemplating this thought, hoping that the guys were busy entertaining themselves. This was going to take awhile.

**-----x**

**Meanwhile, outside...**

Sasori sat in the kitchen, which just happened to be close to Tsuki's room. He sighed. _Chasing a girl...is this really what I've been demeaned to? _Sasori didn't even know what he was doing in the kitchen anyway. He was a puppet, and couldn't eat. So he just sat at the wood table. And sat. And sat. "Danna, what are you doing, un?" Sasori looked up. "Sitting." Deidara sat down opposite to him, smirking. "In other words, waiting for Tsuki to tell you all that she picks me, right, un?" The puppet shook his head. "You're much too cocky, Deidara. There's not a chance in hell she'd choose you over me." As far as Sasori was concerned, he was the hottest member of the Akatsuki, minus Itachi.

Deidara put his hands on his hips. "Oh really Sasori-danna? And why would she pick an emotionless, wood-ish puppet like yourself, un?" Sasori stood up, walking over to Deidara. "And what makes _you_ think she'd want a moronic, egotistic, girly man like yourself?" They were about to beat the living shit out of each other, but Itachi just happened to be walking by, and broke them up. "You two are idiots. I was voted most sexy at the Mangent last year, remember?" Oh, what a sight that would have been. Sasori glared at the Uchiha. "I was a _very_ close second." Itachi smirked. "Second. Not first. Second. Your 'package' just couldn't stand up to mine, I guess. After all, it is _wooden_."

Sasori lunged at Itachi, making a lot of noise as he did so. The rest of the Akatsuki slowly walked in, wanting to see the fight between the two. "What the fuck are you two fighting about now?" Hidan was covered in blood, having just come back from a ritual.

"Oh, were just arguing about who Tsuki picks, un. But it's pointless. She's obviously picking _me_, un."

"Please, Deidara. You look too much like a girl anyway. She'd be afraid to go out in public with you." **"You'd make people label her as a lesbian. Which she obviously doesn't deserve, Blondie."**

"Besides, having a threesome with Polly would be amazing!" Kisame had a...unique...glint in his eye.

"No! Making love in money! That would win her over!"

"Nuh-uh! We could explode the world, un!"

**"Or...I could just eat her..."**

"Fuck you all! She's coming with me and Lord Jashin-sama!"

They all jumped in at once, ready to beat the crap out of each other.

**-----x**

"What the hell are they all doing?" Tsuki was awoken from a short nap, after still not having come to a desicion.

She sighed. "May as well go and stop those idiots from killing each other..."

Opening the door, she quietly made her way to the kitchen. What she saw would have mentally scarred just about anyone.

"You guys are all gay, aren't you? I knew it..." She stood against the door, watching the scene in front of her. Everyone was on top of everyone else, and they were shouting, and...just, well, emitting that 'seven man sex' vibe.

Faster than she could blink, they were all around her. "Of course we're not! We were fighting over who you were going to choose! So, who is it? Have you decided?"

They all formed a circle around her, staring straight at her. "Well...uh..."

"Come on Tsuki, un! We really need to know! If we don't I think we'll end up killing each other, un!"

_Damn. I'll have to choose now...damn._ She looked around, hoping for something to save her.

Just then, Tobi, Tobi of all people, walked into the kitchen. "What's going on? Did Tobi miss a meeting?!"

Tsuki pointed to Tobi. "Tobi! I...I pick Tobi! Yeah! Tobi!"

"TOBI?!" The whole headquarters shook. "What the hell do you mean 'Tobi?'"

"D-don't get me wrong. You're all great. Just so god damn annoying and jealous. And, Tobi was the only one who has yet to annoy me." She walked over to Tobi. "Tobi, come to my room later, kay?" She smiled, waved, and walked off.

Tobi just stood there. "...Is Tobi a good boy now?"

The rest of them just stood there for a moment, before Itachi stepped up. "Tobi...start running."

**-----x**

**END. Hope you enjoyed it. :3**


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